rokdrumrchik's Datingish

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 20:00:39 GMT

T, who I've talked about before, got to come home early from Iraq. He's in Texas right now and he'll be home home in a few weeks.

I asked him last night what we were. He said "A couple." I go "Oh yeah? Since when?" He goes "Since I decided to make a commitment to you."

*blink blink*

What do I do with that? I want to be with him - but he has to prove himself to me first. How do I approach that without upsetting him or hurting his feelings? It's not that I don't want him - because I do. But I have to protect myself to a point because I really don't want to get screwed over again.

As screwed up as this sounds, it's almost like I'm more afraid of him following through and doing things right with me than I am afraid of him hurting me again. Because I've never experienced being treated right and it terrifies me a little bit.

When Harry Met Sally

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:43:16 GMT

I have been watching When Harry Met Sally this morning. I love this movie. If for nothing else, for the orgasm scene at lunch after they meet. *lol* Cracks me up every time.

Anyway...

Is there a point with two people that they've had too much time to make it work and they should just part ways and settle for being friends? Or is there truly a chance for a romance to develop even years after having known each other?

Furthermore, why do we deny gut feelings when it comes to people? Like we have to analyze situations to death. We can take a simple truth or a simple feeling and turn it into something that will completely make you do a 180 and go the other way. Why do we do that?

I think we need to go with our guts more and do things that we feel, not things that we analyze to death. Most often, I've found that my gut is right. So why is it that we ignore our gut instincts so much if they hardly ever lead us astray?

I'm a ball buster!

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 00:24:26 GMT

Okay, so one annoyance I have that seemingly NEVER goes away are guys that randomly im women to try and get in their pants. Why do men do this? It's sad.

He Wanted Me to Stay?

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 03:14:09 GMT

So, T...the guy I've talked about before on here...I was talking to him the other night and we got to talking about how little face time we've actually had. He said that he can't wait to get that. THEN he says to me, "I really wanted you to stay the last night you were at my apartment." That would be the first night things went beyond "messing around" and I really only did it because I was pissed at him for choosing someone else.

Anyway...he told me that he wanted me to stay that night. I said, "i know you did - you were surprised I left so soon." He says, "Yeah - I wanted to sleep all night with you and cuddle and all that shit."

Whoa. Back up.

Say wha?!

He goes, "Yeah. I wanted to hold you all night...not just for an hour afterwards."

I've never had a guy want that before. What do I do with that?!

Soulmates without being Soulmates?

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 23:13:21 GMT

I said something today in a conversation with one of my best friends that really shook my world. I had never really entertained the possibility that people could be soulmates in a friend kind of way.

I have this friend that I've known for five years. He and I have kind of went back and forth on the feelings for each other things. He lives in Massachusetts and I live in Kansas, so that's one strike against us. I'm a Leo and he's not a big fan of that either, which is another. I mean, okay, just to get down to brass tacks, so to speak....

J, in a lot of ways, is everything that I would ever want in a guy. In other ways, there are things about him that drive me nuts. He's Jewish - nothing against Jews - I have family that is Jewish - but he and I will never see eye to eye on the religion thing. I'm a Christian. I don't get caught up in the rules and stuff of religion because I think religion is something that man made up to put their own rules on living a spiritual life. But, I digress. This isn't a religious blog.

So anyway - I was talking to J this morning and I said to him, "You're my soulmate, just not in a marriage kind of way."

Does anyone else have people like this in their lives? J and I will always be close. We were giggling today thinking about ten or fifteen years down the road when we'd visit each other and let our kids jade each other. That's totally how it will be, too!

Anyway - I'm just kind of curious what other people think about it and if anyone else has someone in their life like I have J.

Where do you draw the line?

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 15:29:54 GMT

So there's this guy that I've known for about eight years now. We'll call him T. So...T and I have never "officially" been together or dated or anything. We've spent some time together, but it never really went past hanging out. When it came to the part where I thought it could have gone further, he was engaged to be married. It seemed like every time we got close, we'd both pull away and go a while without talking. Then we'd talk again and it would all come back.

There are definitely feelings for each other. There is no doubt about that. He got married and we didn't talk. Now he's in Iraq and he'll be there for another 13 months. He won't be home until October of 2009. That seems like a REALLY long time. He was originally going to be home THIS October, but his wife left him for another man and he decided to stay another year.

Anyway, we started talking again and he's apologized because he believes that he made a big mistake by not being with me when he knew in his gut that's what he wanted. So when he comes home, he doesn't know what he wants to do, he just knows that he wants to be with me. Every time we've been together, we never went out on a date. We hung out at his apartment and watched movies and messed around. Last night, I told him what all that made me feel like. He apologized again and promised that when he came home we were going to do all that stuff. Go out with friends, watch the sunset, take goofy pictures, all that.

So - I just don't know what to do. I don't want to be in a relationship. I don't know why, either. I don't know if it's because my heart's really with him and I just don't want anything else or if it's because I'm too scared of getting hurt again. I honestly don't know.

Do you guys have any advice? I'm not even in a relationship with T, but it's already complicated.

What's the rush?

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 23:36:37 GMT

Today, I've thought about several things, but one that I've been thinking of is people's hurry to be married and start a family.

I'm 26 years old and I'm nowhere near even thinking about getting married. The closest I ever came to getting married was when I was 18 years old with my first boyfriend. He went off to be a big bad Marine and I loved him. We talked about getting married and both expressed interest in being married to each other, but (thank GOD) we didn't do it. He went to California, became a Marine and spent six months cheating on me. So I'm glad that didn't work out.

Now - I dated a guy after that that totally wanted to be with me forever. We talked about the possibility of getting married, but I never said "Yes." We broke up after four months of being together and it was for the best.

It seems, around this part of the country anyway, that people are on a mission to get married after they hit the age of 16 or so. A lot of the people I went to high school with already have kids that are in kindergarten, first and second grade. To me, it's just like...why?! Why be in such a big flippin hurry to be tied down with a husband/wife and kids for the rest of your life?

I don't look to be married until I'm 30. If I'm not married by the time I'm 32 or so, I'm going to adopt a kid and just be a single parent. I don't feel like I need someone to be my husband to feel complete or happy.

What is your guys' take on this?? Do you feel like you need to be married and have kids to be happy? Why do you think so many people rush into it?

Is it even worth it?

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 19:20:53 GMT

I haven't been in a relationship for...I can't even remember how long it's been. I was with Michael. Even then, it wasn't a relationship where we were both in it. The last relationship I had like that was with Riley. And my "in it"ness was short-lived with him. That was when I was 20 years old. So - just about six years ago. SIX freakin' years!

I was never the girl who had a boyfriend and got all mushy and stuff. i didn't have my first boyfriend until my senior year of high school. I've only had three boyfriends. Two of them cheated on me the majority of our relationships. Tim and I were together a year, Mike and I made it 3 months I think and Riley and I were together 4 months. Riley's the only one who didn't cheat on me. I've "dated" since then, but even at that, not very much. I just don't have a desire to.

Does this make me strange? It seems like so many people's lives are wrapped around their significant others and making them happy that they lose sight of who they are and what they want out of life. Personally? It annoys the stuffing out of me when people let go of themselves for someone else. I have never been dependent on someone to feel good about myself. I have always been able to stand on my own two feet.

A lot of my friends have "crossed over" into being that person. I don't want to lose myself. Period. I love who I am and who I've become and I don't want to lose that just because some guy isn't happy with the way I am on my own. I will never change who I am for a guy. Parts of me might change a little bit, but the core of myself will always remain.

So here's the question I pose....is it worth it to lose yourself in order to be with someone else? Why?